


I came out here to join the fight against Corypheus and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

by Pluttskutt



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M, owls are nice animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 06:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12906516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pluttskutt/pseuds/Pluttskutt
Summary: I got prompted to write a fic about Lavellan luring an owl into Dorian's corner and Dorian has to try and get it out the window with his staff. The prompt carried me away. Lavellan is a little shit. Enjoy.





	I came out here to join the fight against Corypheus and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

Skyhold isn't necessarily warm, being placed on a mountain after all, but it's better than Haven. Days passed when Dorian was sure he'd freeze to death in the south. Now he has an armchair to rest in all day, as the newly appointed Inquisitor hasn't requested him for a mission since they arrived at Skyhold.  _ Perhaps I did something to offend him _ , he thinks, and looks up at the bookcases to find something new to read.

Something big and white hangs on the bookcase. Sharp claws have a hold on the wood. Big yellow eyes watch him.

"Kaffas," he utters the swear word.

The owl flaps its' white wings. It flies straight towards him.

He cries out and raises his arms to protect his face. Nothing touches him, but he hears it flap by him. He peeks through his fingers and sees it turn around to fly back to him. A louder cry emits from his throat.

It flies higher and sits on the top of the bookcase above him, staring down at him with wings raised back like it's ready to dive down.

He steps back, stumbling on the books on the floor. "Nice owl, don't fly," he whispers, eyes darting around the room for anyone to help. It's night and the library is empty. If anyone hears his cries and cares enough to check up on him, he'll be shocked. 

The owl stares at him and doesn't move a muscle. It seems to have a staring contest with him and winning with no difficulties.

His staff leans on the desk, resting because he has no use for it in Skyhold. Slowly to not startle the predator, he grabs his staff. Killing it pops into his mind, but then he has to dispose of the body. Animal corpses are not to be touched, they do no doubt carry diseases. Adding to his dilemma is Inquisitor Lavellan, saying that killing animals with no intent to take care of all it leaves is a cruel thing to do, and so he can't kill the owl.

So he has to get it outside, back to where it came from so to say. "How did you even get inside?" he whispers. He holds his staff in his hands, looking at how far up the owl is. Frowning, extremely unsure about everything, he raises it.

The owl tips slightly forward.

He grimaces and takes a deep breath. Raising the staff slowly this time, he puts it under the owl. The tip of his staff looks small compared to the big ruffle of white feathers. He holds his breath. Waits. How he will get the owl out if it steps onto his staff he has no idea. Animals aren't his expertise.

The huge claws take a side step towards his staff. It stops and watches him.

Inquisitor Lavellan has calmed hurt and scared animals. He talks to them in a soothing voice, Dorian remembers, and decides to give it a shot. "Nice owl. Good mister owl. Or misses." It's impossible to tell if works or not, as the owl doesn't move its' eyes. 

It sidesteps again, turning its' head slightly down. It reaches a claw out to the tip of the staff.

Dorian is thankful he is control of his magic or they'd have a fried owl to deal with. He moves the staff closer so the owl can step on it. One could ask how it got inside as his window doesn't open, but it may have come from where the Spymaster sends her birds out.

The owl flaps its' wings and flies off. It lands below the tip, claws wrapping around the wood. 

"Good owl. Nice owl. Please stop staring at me like that. Do not flap your wings." Begging to an animal that can't understand, but he's lost at how to deal with the situation. Going down the stairs and out the huge doors isn't a good idea. The mage below him has a door that leads out, and going down seems safer than going up where there are more birds.

The owl flaps its' wings.

He whimpers, biting his teeth together. "Please don't fly. Maker, just be still." He takes a step back, keeping the staff steady.

It turns its' head down and flaps its' wings again.

"Would you stop that?" Dorian requests, holding the staff still. It's easier to handle the staff when two yellow eyes aren't watching him like a... an owl. "Good owl." Compliments may not mean a thing but he's pretty sure throwing curses at it won't either, so he sticks to compliments. 

He backs slowly towards the staircase, heading down to the nearest door. 

The owl turns its' head and stares at him. 

A long whine builds in his throat. "Don't look at me like that." One step down.  _ I am not falling to my death at Skyhold after walking all the way here _ , he thinks, _ I am Dorian Pavus and- _

The owl bends down like it's ready to take off, and flaps its' wings.

He screams and flinches back. His foot slips off the edge.  _ All because I couldn't kill an owl _ , he thinks, and shuts his eyes. Something touches his back, but it's not the rough staircase he expected.

Two hands hold his back and save him from falling. They push him forward to stand straight. "Creators," Inquisitor Lavellan mumbles, and sighs. His warm breath tickles Dorian's neck.

The owl flaps its' wings. It turns its' head to Lavellan and flies forward. It flies above them and turns in the air. Perching itself on the top of the railing it looks at them as if expecting something.

Dorian's jaw is so tense it hurts to stop himself from screaming. His eyes are wide with horror. Does he remember how to breathe?

Lavellan snorts behind him, and his hands slide down from Dorian's back. He covers his mouth, but can't hide the smile on his lips.

Dorian looks at him and narrows his eyes. He glances at the owl, and back at the Inquisitor.

The Inquisitor opens his mouth as if to speak, but bursts into a fit of laughter. It's loud, uncontrollable, and echoes around them. He moves his hand down to his stomach and doubles over.

Dorian wants to tell him off; to say that this prank is childish and he should bother someone who appreciates them, like Sera, but he's never seen the Inquisitor laugh, and he's in awe. His mouth hangs open and he quickly covers it with his hand. Kaffas, he curses at himself, not him.

The Inquisitor takes a deep breath, and his eyes lock with Dorian. "Are you..." he snorts, and takes a deep breath again. "Are you okay?" His face is flushed from laughing. He breathes quick, and bites his lower lip. His chest shakes with laughter he pushes down.

Dorian swallows, and looks at the owl instead. "I do not appreciate wildlife." His tone is harsh, but he can't direct his shame at the Inquisitor. "Now that I know you are a fan of childish pranks, I will be prepared." His pulse slows, and he glances at the Inquisitor.

Blue eyes are looking up to the side, avoiding him. "I know." He presses his lips together to a thin line. His chest raises quickly. 

Dorian sighs and raises a hand to his temple. "I can see you're holding back your laughter. Just let it out. You got me."

The Inquisitor laughs, but quieter this time, showing only his front teeth. "I did." The tip of his tongue sticks out when he laughs again.

Dorian watches him, barely managing to not smack him in the head with his staff. "Should I expect more pranks like this?" he asks. Why he became the target is a mystery. Did Sera put him up to this, he wonders, and narrows his eyes in suspicion.

The Inquisitor shrugs and hides his hands behind his back. 

Dorian watches him deadpan and says nothing. Joining the Inquisition would be the death of him, but not the way he expected apparently.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! If you did please don't forget to leave a comment and kudos. Thank you <3


End file.
